View our recent webinar to learn Talane's top tips on how to banish overwhelmedness in your personal and professional lives and start being happy now!
Feeling stuck on the hamster wheel of life? Too many emails, too much to do and not enough time? If you're running around in circles like a headless chicken, too stressed to enjoy your life now, you are wasting your precious life. Thankfully, there is a better way. Life doesn't have to be this crazy.
Watch this webinar and learn how to:
Q&A - Your Questions answered with Talane
Question: Don’t you feel having a list of 100s of items makes us feel more annoyed or panicked
Initially, yes, some people do feel overwhelmed when they see just how many things are on the list of petty annoyances (60-100 is the average) or their extensive list of to do’s. If you feel discouraged by the sheer size of your list, put it aside in a drawer and come back to it in a month. Most people discover that just by writing the list—and you do have to write it down on paper—they start to work on resolving these annoyances and getting rid of what they have been tolerating for years, creating a tremendous burst of energy.
Or, you might study the list and see if there are one or two things you could do or change that would eliminate a whole bunch of your annoyances. For example, if you are annoyed about 8 or 10 things at work, you might decide it is time to look for a new career, rather than resolve them. Although I usually coach people to resolve things first, then get a new job.
Remember to keep a separate to do list. Your Petty Annoyances are not necessarily action items.
If you feel overwhelmed by your To Do list as well, leverage the 80/20 rule and focus on what’s important about today. By focusing on what is important, you will typically eliminate 80% of the stuff you think you have to do that isn’t actually critical. If all else fails, unplug your phone
Question: What is the most effective technique for assuring/calming ourselves if we are totally overwhelmed on a really bad day?
First, give yourself permission to have a pity party and to vent your frustrations. Write everything you are feeling down in a journal or write a letter that you will burn (do not send it!), getting out all the anger. Call a good friend and ask if you can vent for a few minutes about your horrid day. Set a timer and agree to vent for 10 minutes and then stop.
Take a hot bath and relax, go for a walk in nature, as that is calming and helps put things in perspective.
Then, once you’ve had a chance to vent, could you find anything good in the day? Sometimes we just have to be grateful we are still alive and breathing after a really tough day and that is actually plenty to be thankful for.
Question: How do you find out what your personal and emotional needs are?
The easiest and quickest way is to take the Emotional Index Quiz which is free at lifecoach.com. It is also available in the book, The Secret Laws of Attraction by Talane Miedaner. The quiz will ask you simple questions, many of which may not be applicable so just skip those. It sorts out about 100 of the most common needs and will send you your top four personal and emotional needs via email. Your results are not stored so you must save the email. Once you identify your needs, you can learn how to satisfy them in the book, The Secret Laws of Attraction: The Effortless Way to Get the Relationship You Want. This works both personally as well as for professional relationships.
Question: What is the difference between Values and Needs? Needs can by survival needs such as food and shelter but also emotional needs, such as to be loved, appreciated, cared for, etc. Both are requirements for us to be our best. Values (at the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy) is about self-actualization and living our peak experiences in life. This is where true happiness comes from and it is worth orienting your entire life around your core values after you’ve handled both survival and emotional needs. It can take 1-3 years to work your way through Maslow’s pyramid, but is well worth doing. You can design your life so that you are doing fulfilling work that is an expression of your highest values. Identify your passions and values in this free quiz: The True Values Program. More exercises are available in the book, Coach Yourself to a New Career.
Question: Any suggestions on how to find your natural abilities?
The low tech solution would be to interview 10 friends, family members and colleagues as to what they see are your greatest strengths and talents. A fun question you could ask them would be, “If I were on the cover of a magazine, what magazine would it be and what would the story be about?” Collect the input and see if there are any trends. (See the full interview in the book Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner).
The high tech solution would be to take the computerized career assessment tests in The Career Change Coaching Kit available at lifecoach.com. We now have the tools to help you determine what your natural abilities are in this comprehensive, three hour online assessment. This is helpful for those who want to change careers and do something completely different, but want to ensure that they will enjoy the new path.
Resources and Books and Quizzes discussed in the webinar:
Q: How do I decide what's important to do when time is limited? I can't put everything off until sometime in the future as certain things would never get done.
If you are not sure, ask your manager which projects are top priority and which can be postponed.
About Talane Miedaner:
Talane Miedaner, the founder of LifeCoach.com, is an international bestselling author of three books in addition to teaching leadership courses for Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. She has been featured in numerous magazines from Men’s Fitness to Fortune.
Talane Miedaner is a sought after international speaker and executive coach. She covers a broad range of topics and can customize a keynote, seminar or workshop to meet the needs of any group — from corporations to professional organizations and associations. Every program is based on the core elements of Talane’s coaching principles designed to help you attract all you want in life, both personally and professionally. Follow-up private or group phone coaching sessions are recommended to immediately apply and integrate the new insights and information.